Child Zoom stars

By Robin Tozer, Partner

Yesterday both the BBC and Sky made stars of young children who interrupted their mothers who were on-air from their homes via video call. This has perfectly encapsulated my lockdown experience from the wilds of South-east London. During lockdown, my partner has continued to go into work part time so for long spells, I have been balancing working from home while trying to entertain and occasionally educate my two small children, Florence (5) and Charlie (3).

Like the young star of today’s viral hits, my children have become regular features on my video calls. Clients, colleagues and journalists have had chances to see and hear them in action.  I have strategically positioned myself in my conservatory, where I can work with good Wi-Fi, and the children can move between the garden and the house, and I keep an eye on them. When I am on call, I try to make sure that they are out of the way, but that has proved challenging. Early dreams of my children quietly entertaining themselves watching Joe Wicks, or sitting quietly doing schoolwork, hit hard reality. I often combine talking shop with dealing with requests for food and drink. Other times, while on calls, I am needed to soothe unhappy children who have fallen over or use my detective skills to answer the age-old question – “Who hit who?”.

The piece de resistance came from Charlie. We have been using lockdown to potty train him. Regularly on calls, my eyes have been drawn to the sight of Charlie using the garden as a toilet.  One video call was interrupted by a voice loudly asking, “Can you wipe my bottom?”. Something that rarely happens in the office.

When I have really needed to concentrate, I have been forced to bargain with them. Trading peace and quiet in return for sweets, iPad access and TV. The country hasn’t seen appeasement like it since Neville Chamberlain. 

And quietness isn’t always a good thing. The maxim to remember about toddlers is that if you can hear them then they are about cause trouble but if you can’t hear them they already are.

At the beginning of the lockdown, I had a call and sat Charlie in front of his favourite show, Blaze and The Monster Machines (“Lets Blaze!”). Not a word out of him the entire call, and I felt pleased with myself, and warmly towards Charlie. When I stuck my head around the living room. I had discovered he had gone the full Jackson Pollock over the walls with some felt tip pens.

That all said, not travelling to and from work each day, has meant I have been able to spend a lot more time with them, which has been fantastic. Unfortunately, for people who call me, they have had to do so as well.